Hulsey teaches Star Trek fanatics how to speak Klingon

Posted: December 20, 2011 in Parody

(Photo by Morgan Christensen)

By Paige Mace
Staff writer

One of the many selling points for Cactus Canyon is its wide offering of elective courses. Student can take drama, journalism, and robotics, to name a few, but it’s safe to say that no other junior high is offering a course in Klingon.
CCJH language William Hulsey is now teaching Star Trek fanatics how to speak Klingon. Hulsey started to teach the language this year after learning to speak it when he was only 8 years old.
Hulsey speaks 32 different languages fluently. Students have said it is as if he was born speaking all of them.
“I love to teach kids how to speak Klingon, because it is different,” said Hulsey. “I have made it so that only Star Trek fanatics can get in this class. They have to answer a certain Shatner-related question correctly, and if they don’t get it right then they will have to pick a different class.”
Stewart Law, an eighth grader at CCJH, is a Star Trek fanatic is in Hulsey’s class. Law thinks that Klingon is a very easy language to learn.
“I have always wanted to be able to speak Klingon,” said Law. “And now that I am speaking it I am very excited to speak to my peers. I can’t believe how many people are in the class though; it amazes me.”
Law has been a Star Trek fanatic since he was 3 years old, and has collected an entire room full of movie memorabilia.
“Mr. Hulsey is such a great teacher,” said Law. “He knows every single word in the Klingon language.”
Everyone in Hulsey’s class enjoys learning so much that every student is getting an A.
“I love how all the kids are always turning in their work on time,” Mr. Hulsey said. “They actually listen to me talk instead of texting each other.”
Editor’s note: This story is entirely made up. Nothing in it actually happened and no one was actually interviewed. All information, quotes, and, in some cases, people, are completely fake. We hope you enjoyed reading and got a good laugh.
  1. Mr. LaPrise says:

    As Mr. Spock would say “Live long and prosper!”

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